Painting.

Last week, I spent a few days painting. I have developed a love/hate relationship with painting. Oil based paint drives me crazy - but, it's pretty well mindless. It's not fun, I don't get a kick out of it, I say that I hate it, but, it's really not so bad. It's just, really boring.

I've also been doing a stack of reading as part of my internship here and this last week, I revisited a book that, in many ways, began this whole journey: Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller.

The first time I read this, I shut myself into my Uncle's study, on the 2nd floor of his 100 year old house in Battery Point, Hobart. I nestled into a comfy chair and listened to Radiohead's Kid A. I read the book in less than 24 hours. I devoured it.

Given that I ate it in such a short period of time, I didn't process it as well as I would have liked - hence the revisit.

The book is basically a journal, Don's musings on Life and God. In one part he talks about his perception of God, a slot machine that he crosses his fingers, closes his eyes and pulls the lever with blind hope and how, that didn't do it for him. Also his thoughts on 'religion' - how he could walk around inside religion for a very long time and in that time, never understand on any emotional level that God is 'a person, an actual being with thoughts and feelings'.

"I could not tell a friend about a faith that didn't excite me. I couldn't share something I wasn't experiencing. And I wasn't experiencing Christianity. It didn't do anything for me at all. It felt like math, like a system of rights and wrongs and political beliefs, but it wasn't mysteries; it wasn't God reaching out of heaven to do wonderful things in my life.'

This is where is where this journey that I am now on began. I had been searching for God. I was tired of the math and scales and the, dryness. Prior to reading Blue Like Jazz, I had also picked up Max Lucado's 'Cure for the common life' - the title is...somewhat self explanatory. I was searching for, an active God. Not a lever that I pulled when things got tough. But, mystery and joy.

Like Don says, God is a God who is reaching into lives here and now. This has been the tune for my year so far. So often we can limit God reaching down into our lives to things that fit into the category of 'miraculous'. But, God is so much bigger than that. Yes, bigger.

The everyday menial things are soaked with the presence of a living, breathing, active, passionate and loving God.

I was having a killer asthma attack one day, after being prayed for it was relieved.

A successful conflict resolution.

Watching a friend being set free of self hatred.

Being able to accept a compliment and not shrug it off...for once.

My friends watching blues brothers to fundraise for me.

Going for a walk out to a cliff and watching the sunset.

Successfully navigating a group on foot through a city I didn't know without a map.

The first sip of an ice cold beer.

A cup of tea.

A friend asking about my faith.

These experiences make me turn in wonder and cry out in, fearful awe to a God that, controls everything. A God that is far from a pokie machine. A God that shows up even when I'm painting.